Monday, December 1, 2008

You know you speak Pellinese when...

Some of these came to me while I was driving yesterday, so I wrote them down and more followed. Surely there are more...please contribute!

You know you speak Pellinese when... heard Dr. Haynes tell you to quit smoking, and noticed the pack of Pall Malls in his shirt pocket. suddenly forget how to use your turn signals when turning from Comer Avenue onto U.S. 231. give driving directions using landmarks that aren't there any more, and the person still gets where they needed to be. are glad when you hear a sick friend or relative wasn't admitted to "our" hospital but was sent to Birmingham instead. know we are getting a theater about the same time monkeys fly out of your butt. still remember which Wal-Marts are closest, and which of them are nicer, from the time before we had a Wal-Mart of our own. can accurately predict (within a month) how short-lived the latest restaurant will be at the old Rexall downtown. can tell when local newspaper reporters are being lied to because you know what kind of person their source is. remember when Eastwood Mall was as far into Birmingham as you ever needed to go. know how to get around stopped traffic on I-20 while the others motorists have to sit there and take it. no longer have to read the menu at restaurants in town because you know them all by heart. don't eat the Steak House because you are not old enough yet. see a house that is always for sale, and know why. are unable to figure out why someone you know on the City Council wants to be there. see high school kids hanging out at Sonic, and realize it's just the new Dairy Queen with better car stereos.