Pizza payback

I don't know that I've ever had to write a rant blog like this, bear with me.

Spend the early morning talking with guys I know who work for local law enforcement. I have known them for years and run into them around town a good bit but this time we spoke in their official capacity.

For the past couple of weeks at the pizza joint there has been this POS meth-head ordering food and paying with checks that he stole. He burned 5 of our drivers, including me, twice in the same day.

When somebody pays us with a stolen check we have to 'eat' the amount of the check. It comes out of our pockets. It's always been that way but it almost NEVER happens until recently with this one motherfucker.

It started when he wrote some checks that were stolen from a doctor. Got a buddy at work and then a new guy who just started. Then he got me with two checks he stole from his grandmother (with whom the waste of sperm and eggs lives) for a total of $110.

I had delivered to her house before when it was her ordering. I recognized the name and address on the check and that was why I took them both, thinking she had him order food when she was not home.

Then just yesterday, he hit another of our new guys with ANOTHER check he stole from a women who lives a few miles from his grandmother's house. Our store manager, God bless her, knows her job inside and out and knew she was going to catch big-time heat from the store owner over this fucker paying with stolen checks even though it comes out of the drivers' pockets.

After a while yesterday I said, Lisa, fuck this. I know some guys who can take care of this bastard. And called them.

I did not know the deputy who got sent out to take a report for me. But in calling the grandmother's house she told him who her grandson was and that she had no idea her checks were missing. The deputy told her what she needed to do, and when he hung up, told me he went to high school with the fucker who'd been stealing checks and burned us with them.

He had a photo of the guy on his iPhone. Yep, that's him, I said. Then I called the other burned drivers and they said the same thing. This morning we all went down to the cop shop, made the positive ID from the photo lineup, and each of us talked to the investigator in charge. It helped that I have been knowing the investigator for oh, 15 or so years.

He told me there are a total of three police agencies after the fucker, with possibly up to 15 separate charges.

He also told me he had dealt with this piece of shit thief before and the guy had always come clean when pressed. He said he was going to talk to him this afternoon and would keep me updated as the case progressed. But I could still go ahead and swear out a warrant on the fucker if I wanted to.

The word, 'to,' was not quite all the way out of his mouth before I asked where I needed to sign.

Depending on his it goes, stealing the checks will be a misdemeanor charge. (smack) So will forging then (another smack) The act of passing them to me and the other drivers is theft by deception, which will be a felony (SMACK!!!)

I know full well that I will never see my money from this fucker. If he does not confess I will have to go to court and relish telling my story for a judge. If my luck is in, one of the three judges in my county (all of whom I know personally) will be in a pissed-off judicial mood that day and see fit to make an example out of the thieving motherfucker. And even that scenario will take more of my time, which I will never get back.

But I still have been smiling all day, because it felt so very nice to set the wheels in motion for some pizza payback.