25

Here's a note from my profile on facebook (where I can be found if you are so inclined) and thanks to a friend there for the idea.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. My experience with these type lists as peeks at one's persona has been somewhat inane, so I'll try to make this one interesting.
2. I am just about the only person I know without a cell phone, and I remain wholly uninterested in getting one. I don't have a credit card, either.
3. At the end of The Raiders of the Lost Ark, they crated up the ark in a box numbered 9906763. Cats and bears are alike in that they both lack collarbones. In seventh grade my locker number was 785 and the combination was 7-9-39.
4. I have long since given up hope of trying to make sense of my retention of useless knowledge.
5. There is only so much a person can do for someone who has made up their mind to be unhappy.
6. With ceaseless frustration I read typographical errors and poor grammar penned by so-called reporters whose better I am.
7. Even though I have had plenty of them, I know that regrets are ultimately for chumps.
8. It would be hard to choose which is better: doing something you know you like, or finding out about something you were previously unaware you liked.
9. Rap music was a lot better when they actually said something.
10. I didn't vote for Obama but I am pretty sure he is going to do better than the pissed-off old man for whom I did vote.
11. I tend to shake my head when I read a sentence ended in a preposition.
12. Working outside when it's too hot, I can accurately judge the onset of hyperthermia by whether or not I can mentally diagram a sentence.
13. I need more guns like I need chiggers, but I remain on the lookout for a sweet deal on something I do not have.
14. While I can't say I am proud of never having graduated college, I am unable see that it would have made any difference.
15. These list of entries are coming a lot easier than I thought they would.
16. Fans of 80s popular music tend to conveniently forget how very much of it sucked.
17. I keep a blog that not many people read and fewer still comment on, and I persist for the sense of accomplishment it gives me.
18. My best friend in the whole world died inside my shattered car in 2001 and has yet to be rivaled on my friendship totem. The world is still a less-interesting place without you, Mark Howard!
19. I have always taken a small amount of pride in the fact that not everybody gets my jokes.
20. People who make a big deal about their resentment of Mexican immigrants ought to be reminded that unless you're Native American, your people were immigrants, too.
21. Men who find it necessary to ridicule overweight woman generally see nothing wrong with wearing flip-flops with jeans.
22. Though I am fully aware of her being married and probably having stalkers, there is not much I can think of that would be more appealing than a date with Robin Meade from CNN.
23. There are a wide range of emotions and expressions of one's self that do not translate well on the Internet, but those are largely limited to those who do not communicate well in person, either.
24. I have a good friend whose well-being I can judge by the amount of fwd:fwd:fwd spam emails he sends me. And I know when it's an email he wrote by himself, because it won't have a subject line.
25. I don't care how comfortable Crocs are, you look like a dumbass!

Riverchase Gonorrhea

Pardon my affectionate name for our state's biggest mall; I gave it that nickname long ago and for some reason it stuck. Geez, has that really been 20 years ago??It had been awhile since I darkened the door of the Galleria, and I knew full well that Alabama's High Temple of Consumption would be in full swing 13 days before Christmas. Ordinarily, I would consider me willingly visiting the place to be a hint that needed my head checked. But I remembered loving a taste of holiday hustle and bustle when I was a kid, and thought Griffin and Carlie might like to see it. I was right.We didn't use "flyover" express exit lane that was added several years ago, and judging from traffic conditions, it would not have mattered much if we had. We entered from U.S. Highway 31, passing two conspicuously vacant buildings among the mall's outparcels and the Wynfrey Hotel. One of the main mall's anchor stores was vacant, too, and for some reason, the much-needed parking area in front of its entrance was ROPED OFF. We drove past that, and past more roped-off parking (valet area that time) and the hunt for a space began. Once parked, the walk was not bad, though I did carry Carlie to minimize my effort of keeping track of kids.We got in and walked, and walked, and walked. The mall was pretty much the way I remembered it, minus the arcade and a few very esoteric stores, replaced with stores that appeared to offer equally useless stuff as the ones that were gone. I was perturbed to find that the space that used to be nothing but bathrooms was also gone, but we went into Belk's to take care that business.Overall the whole mingling-in-a-crowd thing was not bad, actually enjoyable at times, to my surprise. The only sore spot was the food court, where the number of diners far, far, exceeded the amount of seating. We ate our Chik-Fil-A sitting on the floor like many others.The kids loved playing at the few toy stores the mall has, riding the glass elevator and the escalators--every time! At Radio Shack, of all places, I got them a little something that the like playing with to take home, which coincided with them asking, is it time to go yet? And with that, we were out of there.

You know you speak Pellinese when...

Some of these came to me while I was driving yesterday, so I wrote them down and more followed. Surely there are more...please contribute!

You know you speak Pellinese when...

...you heard Dr. Haynes tell you to quit smoking, and noticed the pack of Pall Malls in his shirt pocket.

...you suddenly forget how to use your turn signals when turning from Comer Avenue onto U.S. 231.

...you give driving directions using landmarks that aren't there any more, and the person still gets where they needed to be.

...you are glad when you hear a sick friend or relative wasn't admitted to "our" hospital but was sent to Birmingham instead.

...you know we are getting a theater about the same time monkeys fly out of your butt.

...you still remember which Wal-Marts are closest, and which of them are nicer, from the time before we had a Wal-Mart of our own.

...you can accurately predict (within a month) how short-lived the latest restaurant will be at the old Rexall downtown.

...you can tell when local newspaper reporters are being lied to because you know what kind of person their source is.

...you remember when Eastwood Mall was as far into Birmingham as you ever needed to go.

...you know how to get around stopped traffic on I-20 while the others motorists have to sit there and take it.

...you no longer have to read the menu at restaurants in town because you know them all by heart.

...you don't eat the Steak House because you are not old enough yet.

...you see a house that is always for sale, and know why.

...you are unable to figure out why someone you know on the City Council wants to be there.

...you see high school kids hanging out at Sonic, and realize it's just the new Dairy Queen with better car stereos.

Bass Pro Shops

Checked out the newest humongous retailer in the area Sunday, and it was quite the trip for the kids and I. I'd been to Bass Pro Shops before, in Atlanta-land and in Missouri, but I still was impressed by the new location in Leeds, a whole lot closer to home.

I could not really tell that much difference in the store in comparison with the others I'd seen, other than the inventory being a little different and the conspicuous lack of snow-related gear. There were parkas and sleeping bags rated to temps well below zero, which I saw shoppers checking out, perhaps unaware that they will never get a chance to use that stuff around here without sweating.

Also present were aquaria with native fish, and I was impressed to see a massive alligator gar (probably about 80 pounds) as the boss of the tank. There were people wondering aloud what kind of fish it was, where it may have come from and hoping they never saw one in person. I kept to myself that the alligator gar has swam rivers around here, for oh, a million years or so, can breathe air, gets well over 100 pounds and several feet long, and has several dozen razor sharp teeth.

It was a job keeping the three of us together in the big crowd there, so we did not buy anything. We did have fun checking out all the stuff they had, and will have to go back once the crowds have subsided.

McWane Center

Once the sugar rush of Halloween had a chance to fade, the kids and I were up for getting out Saturday. I picked a Birmingham attraction that I had been meaning to check out for the longest time but hadn't yet.
The McWane Center has been at the heart of a concerted effort to make downtown Birmingham matter again since 1998. Its focus is on letting children discover the how science and technology affect everyday life, in ways that are simultaneously educational and fun. I remember from school how 'educational' and 'fun' seldom intersect, but the McWane Center brings the two together in ways that are entertaining and surprising.
Interactive demonstrations focused on the forces of light, water, wind and mechanics; concepts are usually considered in the context of stuffy intellectualism. But the kids got to see and touch those ideas as they looked at the ways the eyes see and the way the brain perceives, with printed exhibits of illusions.
Natural forces of motion were shown with air and water. The kids stood inside a booth and felt an 80 mph wind, made water move objects in a tank with waves, and watched a 'tornado' form around them in another booth. Elsewhere, they saw that water supports life with aquaria exhibits. Manmade motion was covered by letting them use a rope and pulley to raise a seat. Air compressed in a plastic tube by a tethered bowling ball made a tennis ball take off more than even I thought it would.
All right, I see my text becoming the same dry, academic ho-hum talk that bores most kids, so I'll just say that the McWane Center lets kids be kids, and learn something doing it!

Trick or treat!

Everything was right for Halloween this year, so we made the most of it! The weather, the obligatory trick-or-treating (sans tricks) and then a hayride and get-together at a relative's family getaway followed suit, and we were happy!

Vote for president--ugh.

Or in the words of the late great Bill the Cat, "Ack." It's time to elect a president Tuesday and still, I don't feel good about either candidate.
Yes, I have read up and listened to the both of them. Yes, I know the difference between Democrat and Republican. Both have come up woefully short of really getting my attention, much less my enthusiasm. But I'll have to vote for one of them, dammit.
Obama talks a good game. And talks, and talks and talks. I have no doubts that skills as an orator are an important part of being president, but I have serious reservations about his experience, enough that the idea of loosing someone that green on the presidency scares me.
McCain, on the other hand, does have a lot of experience in Washington. A Washington that over the last several years landed us in a war that is extraordinarily difficult to fight, and impossible to win. Over the same time, flawed policies with which he is connected have us on the brink of a recession the depths and duration of which no one is sure.
Obama calls for change, and that is an easy call to make and have people flock to. McCain comes off as a pissed-off old man determined to ride it out, which could very well be what we all have to do. But there is still the problem that neither of their campaigns have appealed to me past those points.
There is my personal stance on the Second Amendment, which despite what a lot of people think, has nothing to do with hunting or protecting one's belongings. It's about the people being guaranteed the right to have guns, because at some point we may need them to deal with a tyrannical government. That point scares some people, but it reflects the way I read the amendment.
The only campaign points I have heard made about the Second Amendment has regarded the potential for reinstating the so-called assault weapons ban of 1994-2004. McCain said he would not support it; Obama said he would.
That ban really accomplished nothing its ratifiers intended, which was to reduce the availability of such weapons to criminals. It was full of loopholes, but it did succeed in making the price for those guns rise substantially, thanks to gun nuts (like me) panicking.
It's true that most people won't need an AK-47 or M-16 any time soon, but there is the law of the land to remember: the government is not allowed to prohibit anyone but crazy people and felons from having guns. For that reason, I see the assault weapons ban as a backhanded way of stepping on our rights.
Although I truly believe what I just wrote, I think there should be more to that when it comes to who gets my vote. It's just the only thing I feel one way or the other about, from the torrents or crap Obama and McCain are spewing.